The OGeeZ

I had serious doubts about whether or not my plumbing was still in working order after undergoing the onslaught of one detective Nikki Santos. I was referring to the triumvirate in my groin area. I wince every time I run…

There were semi-private booths in Lefty’s, and I grabbed one. I had started with a glass of ice-tea (I had good intentions) but segued to double scotch “on the rocks,” two of them, to be exact. With one sitting on…

I had heard of Nikki Santos, I mean, how could’ve I not have heard about her. She was the first female ever to be assigned to the Homicide Division, and from what I’ve gleaned from those who know her, she…

After leaving Emma’s, I stopped in at Ivy’s Coffee Shop in the Mission District. I needed to get grounded and fast. I had been making little headway in Chief O’Halloran’s murder and needed to get my ass in gear. I…

I felt like shit. The bottle of Scotch eventually over-ruled the fine Cuban cigars. I do remember that as soon as I was half in the bag, I grabbed my secretary, Emma, and headed for Louie's Joint down at Fisherman's…

 I stared at the autopsy report as it lay in front of me on my desk.  If you’ve never seen an autopsy report before, let me tell you if you are not a doctor, 99% of what’s on the report…

"Mr. Grit, you're blushing," said the best-looking piece of ass I've ever laid these bloodshot eyes on.  

"Actually, this is a bit of sunburn I got the other day," I said jokingly, hoping she would pick up on my feeble…

I parked my car in the underground garage of my office building. I pulled out the folded-up piece of paper from my shirt pocket.  Written in red ink across the top, it said, “Here are some phone numbers and addresses…

“Geezus Christ, Sam!” said the Mayor, rather loudly. “Every time I see you, you look older than the last time I saw you.” It’s called aging Mayor.  It happens to the best of us, that and good scotch, or bad…

As I was leaving, Emma held the phone toward me, “It’s your ex,” she whispered, while holding her hand over the receiver. With a demonstrative eye roll, I took the phone from Emma. “Don’t give me that eye roll Sam,”…

When I got back to the office - Emma, my part-time gal, informed me that Mayor Russell had called and wanted to meet for lunch. Henry Russell was elected Mayor the year before. I had met the Mayor when we…

What Momma Blue shared with me was so explosive that if any hint of the Chief’s cross-dressing activity got out to the media, the City would’ve been rocked to its muddy foundations.  “Now what I’m tellin’ you is in the…

“Mr. Grit,” said Barry White, or what sounded like the rotund singer, but was actually Momma Blue.  I think she played Barry White in one of her shows and since I was a big fan, I would have to catch…

It took me at least an hour just to get my six-foot four-inch frame out of bed. The hangovers were getting worse. I had to dump at least four shots of brandy into my coffee to stabilize myself. Then an…

I stood in the middle of the living room, surveying the mess the cops had wreaked. Studying the place, I tried to imagine where a seasoned gendarme like O’Halloran would hide something he didn’t want anyone else to see? From…

When I rolled up to the Chief’s house, it was apparent the coppers had been there. They had yellow-taped the front door, the windows, and they even taped the chimney! I was like, what the fuck! Did they actually believe…

On my way back to my office, I decided to stop off at the morgue. I mean, I haven't seen the body. What if it's a case of mistaken identity? I need to see for myself before I start snooping…

"Sam, I wanted you to handle this rather than the Police Department, especially at this juncture." "OK,” I said, still curious as to the clandestine nature of this meeting. "OK, here it is in a nutshell.” “The Chief was found…

The D.A. and I agreed to meet at Fort Point. Now, my curiosity was boiling over. Obviously, D.A. Campbell wanted the least amount of people around in order to share something with me, but what? I had no freaking idea.…

My name is Sam Grit. Like the sign on my door says, I'm a private investigator. Some refer to us as private dicks, snoops, gumshoes, flat-foots. I don't give a damn, as long as I get paid my fee. A…